Dead and reborn...

They say that, wherever we go, when we leave, we leave a little bit of ourselves there. As far as I'm concerned I died a couple of years ago, sometime in April. I died in the place in which I had spent 5 years of my life. I left the place and, with it, I left the old me...a new 'me' was born after that.We all have secrets-mine ones, they'll be dead and buried when I, the one who I am today, am dead and buried. I died and I was born again: stronger, more self-confident, but tougher and inaccessible sometimes...there's always a price for everything. I know now that, what happened to me, it was meant to be...on a purpose, a purpose which I have finally managed to accept even though I still find it hard to understand; I am sure I will, one day.
Someone said to me the other day that he did not think that I was capable of loving. He was so wrong! I am capable of loving, it is just that I am not capable of loving any 'one', anymore...It is no use trying to convince him, I just know who I am.
Somebody loves me!!! He is a wonderful man, I have always known he is there for me, it's just that he is not 'the one'...he won't accept it but...one day he will understand. Whoever 'the one' will be, I am sure I will know from the moment I see him, and that moment I will know I have not waited in vain. Until then, I intend to enjoy my life and, whatever is around the corner, I know it is something good. I intend to enjoy every single day of my life as I know that, whatever I am living today, I am not going to live tomorrow...

Sunt tot ce nu ai vrea sa fiu si totusi, sunt tot ce-ti doresti...

De ce ai vrea sa ma cunosti?!

De ce ai vrea sa ma asculti?
Vorbesc intruna. Da, dar nu-ntelegi ca nu o fac decat ca sa estompez ecoul unui 'ajutor' iesit din inima-mi pe jumatate inghetata...?
si vocea mea, vocea mea ti-ar provoca o dependenta de care-ntamplator si mult prea devreme tu ai realiza ca inima ta e vindecata...
De ce ai vrea sa ma privesti?
Privirea mea te-ar opri din drum pentru o vreme, iar dup-o vreme... dupa o vreme tu tot ai sa pleci...
De ce ai vrea sa-mi mai vorbesti?
Te-as asculta si ti-as zambi si-ai intelege ca la mine tu pentru un timp, doar pentru un timp tu te opresti...
De ce sa vrei sa ma cunosti, sa ma asculti, sa ma privesti, sa imi vorbesti, atata timp cat in final e posibil sa-ti doresti sa pleci?!
Cu toate astea, eu sunt tot ce nu ai vrea sa fiu si totusi, sunt tot ce iti doresti!!!
Insa cum sunt exact, adica asa cum tu nu vrei sa fiu- asta nu-ti spun;  ramane sa descoperi tu insuti...sa ma inveti.